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| We cannot retreat in life. We cannot live our lives twice. So we take responsibility to our choices. There is no need to regret. Don't think that you can do it better if you have another chance because you do not. Try your best for everything and take the consequences. Well, no matter what the result would be, I decide to try depsratedly for what I dream of. Some dreams are like bubbles, broken at last. May be all the dreams are bubbles. But I hope my bubble lasts longer and could dance in the air without fear of being broken. | | |
| Remember in one episode of Friends, when Ross just moved into ugly naked guy's apartment, some guy asked him for a hundred buck for a treat to Howard, the cleaning man of the building, who is going to retire? Well, Ross, being a man with principle didn't give the money since he thought he just moved in and even didn't know who this Howard guy is. And finally he had to face the awkward consequences. Today, some one of the group that I am working in told me that they plan to buy our 'boss' ( supervisor or mentor, whatever you want to call) a new year present and asked me whether I want to be one of them. It is not the first time for me to encounter this kind of situation - the May holidays, the National Holidays, the Teacher's Day, and now the New Year - but this is the first time that they ask me to join them. Well, I guess it is because I am just working here temporarily and not one of the officially registered students as they are. Although I felt a little bit weird, I accepted their kindness to include me. Well, anyway, my boss treats me nicely, and I appreciate that. However, I just wonder since when this sucking up trend became a tradition? I am not saying that I don't want to join them. To avoid the same awkward situation that Ross faces, I cannot say NO. But I just don't think this is necessary to keep a relationship, or is it?  | | |
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High expectation is a risk. And I am taking this risk. People always warn me the final result might fail me. But I am still on the way pursuing something that I might never achieve. A dreamer I may be, but I am not the only one, right? I just hope that one day people could say "no matter what, she was never beaten." Though it is difficult to admit one's failure, I have to, since I have been used to be dog-ass, for only in this way I can move on along the road I determined. Facing and admitting one's failure doesn't mean weakness. Only people with strong mind could do it. You have to understand there is always something that you cannot change no matter how hard you try. I also feel depressed now and then. But all the pain, suffering, or distress makes me feel real. As long as I have already done the best I can, temporary failure cannot stop me steps. I'll just give another shot. Because this is life, and life is not perfect. I myself even don't know how I overcome those obstacles for all these years and still keep optimistic. But I have reached farther than if I never met those difficulties. For that reason, I am grateful to the hardness that makes me grow. And if you can see the bigger picture, you'll find how beautiful the life is in itself. | | |
| Finally, I cannot stand the nursery maid of my grandfather any more. So I moved to this damp, dirty, messy dormitory on campus, albeit saving some commuting cost, having to share with other 5 people. Much larger in number than my roomies, there are countless crouches here proving how shit this place is. The first night, in unconsciousness of sleeping, I felt something creeping across my face. This secret close visitor can be nothing but the "little strong." (It's hard to explain the origin of this nick name of crouch. I may try later.) I was furious to admit human beings' weakness confronting those disgusting insects. I have to fight! But how? Our dorm already has almost been submerged by the crouch toxicant. And I did see a "little strong" rolling happily in those white powders. Without any good idea to annihilate those creepers, I can at least keep them away from my bed by using expellant. No matter what, this method worked for the next few days. Good sleep. But, still I can randomly encounter some on hanging clothes, behind the curtain, in my drawer, under the bed etc. They must feel depressed because they cannot parade and revel on my bed at night, the time that belongs to them. However, yesterday, when I was lying cozily in my bed, writing with my reading lamp on, a giant winged insect suddenly flied onto my neck. Screaming with scare, I was suddenly frozen to move. Well, luckily, came my heroine. She drove the tiny "Boeing 747" away. The frightening thing was we didn't know where it fled and hid. Anyway, it didn't come back later. For the rest time of the night, I could not stop thinking that little "battleplane" was sent by the commander of Crouch Military to perform a revenge mission. This is the latest report coming from the front line of resisting crouch battle. To know the up to date report, keep paying attention to the weblog. | | |
| Since here I am, may be I can start an English version column here, too. Comparing with the people living on net and playing with computer all day long, I am just an idiot dinosaur. Anyway, I hope I can be used to here as soon as possible. It is a nice place to post something, though. Thanks for Lay's inviting me, which made me know where Cliff hung around. | | |
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